An offense can give birth to several things. It can begin an "iniquity," a sin that becomes a practice in your life. Jesus said," And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold" (Matthew 24:12). If you are not careful to deal with offense it may not only hurt you but it could become a generation curse that is passed down to your children. The price you pay for remaining offended is too high. It can cost you your soul and the souls of your offspring.

The story of Saul and David illustrates the seriousness of being offended. David’s unusual victory over the giant, Goliath, first brought him to national recognition. Then after repeated success against the Philistines, David became a popular hero.

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An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel (Proverbs 18:19 NIV).

In I Samuel 18, King Saul, David, and the army returned home to a victory celebration. As they paraded through towns and villages, the young women sand:"… Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands" (1 Samuel 18:7). Saul was offended and the next day, an evil spirit entered into him and he tried, for the first time, to kill David. Saul’s offense opened a leak through which deception and an evil spirit could operate in his life. The same could happen to you if you choose to hold onto an offense.

An offense can also be taken when someone doesn’t measure up to your expectations. It can be anyone—a spouse, a friend, even a fellow Christian. You can become offended when you relate to others in phileo love; a Greek word that means,"I’ll love you if you act lovingly toward me." Because no one is perfect, anyone, even the best and most godly, give you cause for offense. However, you can live above offense! No one can ever hurt your feelings again when you learn to relate to others in agape love, which means, "I love you and you can’t do anything to change my love."

Too often people deal with their offenses not by loving or forgiving, but by forgetting. The problem is you can’t truly forget until you actually forgive. Proverbs 18:19 says "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city and disputes are like the barred gates a citadel" (NIV). When people get hurt they build walls so they won’t be hurt again. Walls, however, not only keep pain and offenses out, they become prisons that isolate and keep you inside. You become like the Dead Sea.

If you go to Israel, you will probably take a tour that includes the Dead Sea. Long before you actually see it, you smell it. It stinks! The Dead Sea is stagnant, it has no outlet, it doesn’t flow. Offended Christians are the same—an offense has entered their lives, they have built walls that won’t allow anything to go out or in and they become polluted. You can crawl into your castle and be miserable and lonely, or you can open the door and let down the drawbridge and say, "Jesus, please come in. I commit this thing to you. Please take over my mind and my emotions and help me to release this offense."

Some people who become offended at church will stay home from services and "worship at home." This is a deception and outright disobedience to the Word which tells us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together (see Hebrews 10:25). When you are isolated you don’t have to confront your own character. I’ve discovered that regardless of how innocent I am, if I have taken offense, it’s because of a problem I have. Offenses can bring about a purifying process. As you go successfully from one opportunity for offense to another, you leave behind junk that you don’t need. Spiritual growth, many times, comes through offense.

You are the only one who can keep yourself from applying the salve of forgiveness to your offense. Maybe you would say, "Marilyn, I’ve tried to forgive and just can’t do it." As a born again person, you have a new nature—the nature of Christ. When dying in excruciating pain, hanging on the Cross, Jesus said," Father forgive them." His forgiving nature is in you, so you can forgive too. The Word says, "For in him (Jesus) we live, and move, and have our being;…(Acts17:28). In Him you can forgive.

Sometimes you are unable to forgive because you feel that you must stand up for your rights."

Dear friend, when you came to Jesus, you gave up your rights and took on His. Jesus said: "…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven:…"(Matthew 5:44,45).

Your best defense against offense is the Word. Psalms 119:165 says, "Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them." Offense usually comes because you’re not reading the word enough. The "washing of the water of the Word" will wash the junk from your life and give you revelation knowledge that will take you through any adverse circumstance. If you aren’t experiencing a high level of blessing in your life, consider Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God" and begin to deal with the offenses in your life.