FEATURES
Teen Suicide: Dealing With the Grief
By Midy Aponte
The reasons for a persons' decision to commit suicide are never
truly clear. We cannot probe into the mind of a person who has
committed suicide, nor can we ever fully comprehend their motives
and reasoning. However, the experience of losing a friend or
family member to suicide can lead to many inner struggles. These
struggles can be dealing with anger towards the person, anger
towards God, guilt, denial and confusion.
Gary Stroope, a Youth Director at University Baptist Church points
out that "It is OK to feel hurt." He adds, "There
should be no fear of losing God's love or our faith because you
have questions and doubts." Instead, God is patient with
us and allows us to deal with our grief and the struggle that
comes with it.
The pain of losing a friend or family member to suicide is agonizing.
It is a pain that can hardly be described.The stages of grieving
can be confusing and frustrating.Knowing them will help with the
feelings.
You are not alone.
Stages of Grieving:
. Denial/ Shock - You may refuse
to believe what has occurred.It is a temporary stage and it may
surface again at any time.
. Anger - You will question
what has occurred.What drove the person to do this? What
could I have done? When the answer is not provided, you may
lash out because it seems unfair.
. Bargaining - This is usually
an attempt to postpone an imminent death.It lessens the pain of
grief or reality of the situation.And usually it is done in secrecy
with God.
. Depression - When a person
faces reality depression often sits in.
. Acceptance -When you are able to work through the feelings
that have arisen throughout the whole situation and you are ready
to accept it.
For Christians what comes with the grief is the misunderstanding
that suicide is the ultimate sin and that it cannot be forgiven.This
may also contribute to feelings of anger towards the person that
has chosen to do this.Yet, the Bible promises us that once we
are saved, God forgives our sins, past present and future, and
in every situation! The only sin which is unforgivable is "the
sin of disbelief - of not trusting the work of Christ personally."
More importantly, "you should have mercy for the person because
they were deceived by the devil," says Annita Middleton,
who's nephew Jason is thought to have committed suicide last year.
"Being angry at the person is ridiculous because they were
deceived.Instead we must be forgiving and trust in the Lord."
The devil will always try to lure you into a different direction.And
a person who has made this choice has been deceived just like
others are deceived by other temptations and fall.
Stroope adds, "When you don't have answers to all your questions,
cling to what you do have answer to.We know that God is loving,
forgiving and just." God always give us hope, and His love
and understanding takes into account our human weaknesses.In Him
we will find consolation, and you will be provided with "the
peace of God, which transcends all understanding." (Phillipians
4:7)
Confide in Him and He will help you deal with your grief.
SIDEBAR
Statistics:
. 30,484 people committed suicide in 1992. This does not include suicides that may be interpreted as accidental; such as one-car accidents, and destructive habits (e.g., drinking, smoking, and drug abuse).
. More people die from suicide than from Homicide in the US
. 84 people die from suicide daily, 1,900 people attempt it.
. Youth in the US accounted for 16.4% of suicide in 1992.
. It is the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 15-24.
. People living in a household where a firearm is kept are 5 times more likely to die by suicide than a gun-free home.
. Young males are 4 times more likely to die from suicide than females.
. In 1992 alone, more teenagers and young adults died from suicide than died from cancer, heart diseases, AIDS, birth defects, strokes, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease combined.
Resources to Call
1. Students Against Suicide (714) 361-9401
2. Survivors of Suicide (414) 442-4638
Some Bible verses which will help deal with Grief:
John 16:33b
Psalm 23
2 Corinthian 1: 3-7
1 Peter 5:8